"Anyone in Need of a Crazy Stalker Girl?"

"I'll show up on your doorstep, ring it three times and then walk away meekly, but really be hiding around the corner calling you half a dozen times. In addition, I will also text you a thousand times a day. These texts will consist of the craziest things you've ever read, for I am well read and have an active imagination.

I'll call you three times a day, begging you to talk to you, mainly in the throes of a delusional fit. To everyone else, I will seem completely normal... I will go to work and school and put a smile on my face, but to you, I will be completely insane. I will save myself for you in the insane belief that one day we can be together.

I will watch as you date other women and tell me how much you hate me, and I'll wait... I'll wait because I am delusional... unless, and I highly doubt this, I'm able to meet someone else, that doesn't hate me... Here's the benefits: I don't cheat, I'm not an alcoholic club kid, I'm a masochist who enjoys being treated like shit, I have a steady job and my own money (not a gold-digger, but not rich enough to take you out to fancy restaurants *at least not yet*) I'm loyal and when not being batshit insane, have a decent sense of humor (mainly consisting of jokes really retarded facts and old memes) know my sci-fi, my geography, my philosophy, have a zombie contingency plan and will watch you play video games.

Maybe I'll lock myself in my apartment or move back to my parents house and lock myself in my room and write about how hope is a thing with feathers until I die an old maid in my room."



I hope this is just someone with an awesome, twisted sense of humor. But the list of "benefits" throws me off.