Sparkle and Fade - 30

"Thank you for reading my personal advertisement. I understand that your time is valuable and appreciate your visit.

Single, young male seeking passionate one-month affair. You must love Twilight. Your love for Twilight must equal my hate for Twilight. Please note that I hate everything about the book, the movie and everything associated with it. I hate the writer Stephenie Meyer (who spells "Stephenie" like that?), I hate Robert Pattinson, I hate Second Assistant Cazz Duffy....I hate so much...

My hope is that these deep feelings will spark unbridled passion and within a few hours, good humping times. While I doubt passion such as ours is likely to last, I guarantee you good times. Please note that good times = me yelling at you until I'm hoarse because if you like "Twilight" and you're over 21, the government should come in and tie your tubes with a soddering iron.

Call me!"



Maybe eugenics wasn't such a bad idea afterall.

i have depression, you have depression, let's cuddle - 25

"having depression really really sucks. let's try to make the best of it by being depression cuddle buddies! you remember the times when you weren't depressed with sorrow. days freaking drag by into each other. sleep is a problem, eating is annoying. you dont think anyone is going to want to be with you because you have depression. your friends get sick of it. blah. there must be something therapeutic in human touch. i'm not looking for a deep long term relationship necessarily, just an understanding and compassionate co-depression ate with some healing touch. i'm a fairly attractive 25 year old guy i was in shape a few months ago. i can talk about anything and i like good conversation!"



This sounds so...depressing.