Sparkle and Fade - 30

"Thank you for reading my personal advertisement. I understand that your time is valuable and appreciate your visit.

Single, young male seeking passionate one-month affair. You must love Twilight. Your love for Twilight must equal my hate for Twilight. Please note that I hate everything about the book, the movie and everything associated with it. I hate the writer Stephenie Meyer (who spells "Stephenie" like that?), I hate Robert Pattinson, I hate Second Assistant Cazz Duffy....I hate so much...

My hope is that these deep feelings will spark unbridled passion and within a few hours, good humping times. While I doubt passion such as ours is likely to last, I guarantee you good times. Please note that good times = me yelling at you until I'm hoarse because if you like "Twilight" and you're over 21, the government should come in and tie your tubes with a soddering iron.

Call me!"



Maybe eugenics wasn't such a bad idea afterall.