Sparkle and Fade - 30

"Thank you for reading my personal advertisement. I understand that your time is valuable and appreciate your visit.

Single, young male seeking passionate one-month affair. You must love Twilight. Your love for Twilight must equal my hate for Twilight. Please note that I hate everything about the book, the movie and everything associated with it. I hate the writer Stephenie Meyer (who spells "Stephenie" like that?), I hate Robert Pattinson, I hate Second Assistant Cazz Duffy....I hate so much...

My hope is that these deep feelings will spark unbridled passion and within a few hours, good humping times. While I doubt passion such as ours is likely to last, I guarantee you good times. Please note that good times = me yelling at you until I'm hoarse because if you like "Twilight" and you're over 21, the government should come in and tie your tubes with a soddering iron.

Call me!"



Maybe eugenics wasn't such a bad idea afterall.

i have depression, you have depression, let's cuddle - 25

"having depression really really sucks. let's try to make the best of it by being depression cuddle buddies! you remember the times when you weren't depressed with sorrow. days freaking drag by into each other. sleep is a problem, eating is annoying. you dont think anyone is going to want to be with you because you have depression. your friends get sick of it. blah. there must be something therapeutic in human touch. i'm not looking for a deep long term relationship necessarily, just an understanding and compassionate co-depression ate with some healing touch. i'm a fairly attractive 25 year old guy i was in shape a few months ago. i can talk about anything and i like good conversation!"



This sounds so...depressing.

"Bi male seeking BBW Must naughty LTR"

"Hi i,m a bi male i love dressing up like a girl i,m very passable i,m looking for a plump pretty lady with whom i can share my life you have to be as naughty as i am. I do get a taste for black men at times being bi and would love to have an understanding mate who would join in with my escapades i,m desease free and would love for you to live with me we can keep this our secret to friends and family and can be two filthy sexy ladies in our spare time"





I'm concerned about the supportive potential of that bra.

"Racist Roleplay" - 44

"My intent is not to offend but to act our a fantasy of a dom white guy and a submissive black woman. I have exceptional skills. Words, actions, nothing crazy, violent, or dangerous. All limits respected."



Yes, master.

Have you seen a pathetic personal?

Email it to me at lolpersonals@gmail.com!

"Looking to milk?"

"I am looking for a hucow relationship."


Hucow: A woman who chooses to be objectified for her large mammaries and ability to lactate constantly.

"I wrote a poem. - 32"

"Potential
"Are mirages causing the false beliefs which are preventing someone from fully dedicating themselves to the Catholic religion which would provide a much happier way of life?" What do you think of it?"


I'm pretty sure this is just a sentence, dude.